We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.