Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
