it was like eating out sand paper
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize