We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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