Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
soo... how was my night?
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