I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Randomize
