Moan for me like Helen Keller
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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