Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months