Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
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let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
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hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
so much tequila, so little girl.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son