Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I am in a vortex of obligation.

Fav 3 1006 1922
share tweet
(416): View more from Ontario

Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.

Fav 5 945 3163
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(769): View more from Mississippi

My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth

Fav 33 3571 2799
share tweet
(281): View more from Texas

On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?

Fav 48 1785 6325
share tweet
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(701): View more from North Dakota

how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?

Fav 6 3913 1175
share tweet
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time

Fav 12 2661 883
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(432): View more from Texas

I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.

Fav 13 888 3659
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(925): View more from California

A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.

Fav 4 1025 612
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(850): View more from Florida

We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....

Fav 2 399 263
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT