Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
We should try that some time.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too