I am in a vortex of obligation.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....