my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize