There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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