There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
