my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
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At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
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I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize