I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
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I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
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New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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