Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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