i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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