Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
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