Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
