Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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