My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
