There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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