How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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