why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
