I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?