i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Your shirt... Was in my pants
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT