there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.