i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
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