Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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