Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
