Yo dont text me then not text me
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
