stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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