He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize