I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
