I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
