I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT