I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.