I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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