She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You dont lie about slip and slides
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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