Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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