She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
