dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
