You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
