And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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