Yo dont text me then not text me
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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