I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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