She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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