you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
