Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You are a genius and a whore.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
