Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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