Me. At least after what I've been through.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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