I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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