so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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