So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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