Whod you bang
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
love makes seman taste better
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
