I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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