Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
